If your idea of a barbecue involves one of those disposable jobs from your local supermarket you can stop reading this right now, because the Kamado Joe Big Joe Konnected Joe is not for you.

Apart from the silly name, which deserves to be meme’d into the middle of next week like this Marc Jacobs label, the Kamado Joe Big Joe Konnected Joe is a very serious bit of kit. Why? Because it offers the holy trinity of barbecuing: grilling (both direct and indirect), searing, and smoking.

Egg-shaped ceramic ovens called Kamados have roots (not literally) that can be traced back over 3000 years, but the Konnected Joe brings the concept right up to date with Wi-Fi and Bluetooth connectivity. It means you can control Big Joe from anywhere, setting the temperature for anything between 107ºC and 370ºC, monitoring multiple meat probes simultaneously, and receiving alerts to ensure you don’t turn the dinner into extra charcoal. It’s a bit like a caveman having an app-connected spear to keep track of how many mammoths he’s merked.

And mammoth probably wouldn’t be off the menu considering the size of the Big Joe. It has a massive 24in cooking area, with two stainless steel grates that can be positioned at different levels, meaning it’s possible to cook at different temperatures simultaneously.

There’s a fan inside that regulates the air flow and a vent on top that allows you to control the heat precisely, with a digital display on the front advising you on how much to open the latter. Unlike those chumps with their rubbish disposables you don’t need to worry about getting it lit either, with the Automatic Fire Starter button on the front igniting the fuel for you.

It’s probably a bit early for a barbecue in the UK, where the Kamado Joe Big Joe Konnected Joe will set you back £2799, but if you live in one of the warmer parts of the US you can make yourself king of the grill now for $2999.